I wanted to share a story. I share in the Spirit of all that becomes possible for each of us, when we share our stories from our heart. This is a “Dark Night of the Soul” story.

This was Me

Since I can remember, I’ve always given 1000% to all that I do.

As a friend. As a mother. As an employee. As a student. As an entrepreneur, I always dive in FULL-tilt boogie. Like a dog with a bone it’s mouth, when I set my sight on something, I go after it 1000%!

Baby, I was born this way — A hard-working, steady, never-quit climber, who’s fiercely tenacious are my signature attributes.

And while these natural attributes have served me very well, a smart question to ask is, WHERE were you within this equation Carol? For example, if we use the analogy of me carrying a bunch of balloons, I was not one of them — Not one of the balloons I carried said “Carol” on it.

Sure, I was taking care of my son and every responsibility at home, at work and at school. Yes, I was cooking all our meals and paying all the bills, but… I was not taking care of me. I mean, yes, I would get manicures and pedicures, buy beautiful clothes and get fun hairstyles. I would go out with my friends to dance, sing and have fun. I would even get on my knees to pray to a God “out there,” outside of me, to help me be my best Self. But I was not taking care of me in all the ways my heart and Soul needed.

Though I’ve had “dry days” of feeling uncertain of my Faith like most spiritual seekers, I’ve always felt spiritually connected.

The Questions

But I never asked myself questions like, “Who are you, Carol?” What matters most to you, beyond what the world expects and wants of you? What would make your heart soar, Carol, beyond the approval of what others think is best? What would fulfill your heart and Soul, Carol? Why are you here, and HOW does your Highest Self want to express Itself?”

And there were signs across my life that I needed to get to these questions, but… the busyness of life and the excitement of every new endeavor distracted me from getting to them.

I can remember one night when walking my beloved Shana, our beagle of 17 years, in Boston, after moving there to earn my M.Ed at Boston College, and looking up at the radiant, sparking stars in the oh-so dark night sky, when tears began to stream down my face. I remember literally saying out loud, “I can’t do it anymore,” and feeling “I can’t do what ‘they’ want me to do anymore,” as my salty tears ran into my mouth.

But carry on I did. Back to work. Back to school. Back to everyday responsibilities. 

What else could I do, right?

The Dark Night of the Soul

Have you ever heard of “The Dark Night of the Soul,” that St. John of the Cross talked and wrote about? In his book, “The Dark Night of the Soul,” he wrote, “This Dark Night is the inflowing of God into the soul which purges it of its ignorances and imperfections, natural and spiritual, and which is called by contemplatives infused contemplation. Herein God secretly teaches the soul and instructs it in perfection of love without its doing anything or understanding of what manner is this infused contemplation.”

When in Ireland last year, I had significant spiritual moment, among 3-months of spiritual moments. I was out riding my bike in the rain, when I was confronted with the impact of not answering these questions earlier in life. Tears fell as the questions rose up, “Who are you, Carol?” What matters most to you, beyond what the world expects and wants of you? What would make your heart soar, Carol, beyond the approval of what others think is best for you? What would fulfill your heart and Soul, Carol? Why are you here, Carol?”

It was a Sacred moment no doubt, but… carry on I did, again, when I came back to Connecticut from Ireland. In fact, I returned home early and did not go to southern Italy because I wanted to get back to my work.

It was time, I thought. I felt clear and good about my decision.

But resistance kept showing up in my work since returning. 

I couldn’t find my groove. I was struggling with getting back to all that I love about all that I do, like I had before I left.

The Dark Night of My Soul

And then a month ago, in early June, I attended a live business event in Corvallis, Oregon.

While there, in one moment, like a key in a lock, the door of “The Dark Night of MY Soul,” opened.

No, I did not have words for what was happening. No, I did not understand why I couldn’t stop crying and why I felt so lost, so unsteady. But, yes, oh yes, I was unequivocally sure that now was the time to get the answers to the questions, though the free-fall of the moment makes it near impossible to do.

The Dark Night, a Cake Walk and Faith

I’m amidst a Spiritual crisis, a Dark Night of the Soul. And while there have been moments that have felt unbearable, moments that have taken me to my knees these past few months, because I am literally being asked to question WHERE and HOW and WHY I’ve acquiesced my power in important ways across my life (which is shaking me at the root level of who I know myself to be), because I KNOW if I don’t, HOW could I EVER hope to confidently share ALL that I KNOW makes a difference about living a full and vibrant life, if I am NOT speaking from the empowered Voice I was charged to use?

NO doubt, I AM walking in Faith. 

But by opening to the experience, I literally feel like I climbed on a rocket ship driven by The Universe, with Spirit leading the way.

I believe that “my calling” my charge by the Higher realms of Life is to share all that I’ve learned about healing a body, for all the gold it offers, BUT… I’ve consciously chosen to put every idea of my own down, to open to the guidance sent my way.

Is it scary? Heck ya! BUT, after living a life of acquiescing to every external impulse that came my way, I FULLY and HEARTILY open to EVERY internal impulse I hear. Within the context of what poet Mary Oliver calls, living my “One wild and precious life,” for everyone else but me, this Dark Night will be a cake-walk, versus selling my Soul to every Tom, Dick and Harry.

Have you Ever Experienced a Dark Night of the Soul?

Does what I share feel familiar?

Does what I share feel insulting to the experience (please say yes! There’s so much I didn’t say, right? Ha!)

What was your experience like?

I, and my readers would love to hear your insights!

You try so darn hard to implement healthy eating and healthy lifestyle habits.

But no matter what you do, you feel like you’ve still “not arrived.”

And you feel frustrated, confused and flat-out baffled on what to do, with no lasting results, though you’ve tried so many of the oh-so many expert dietary theories in the airwaves today!

I was invited to a Facebook Live interview this week, and since I covered a lot of healthy ground in this conversation, I wanted to share it with you.

Among the topics I talk about are, “The Diet Myth,” “Why Detoxification Matters,” “The Garbage Bag Theory,” “Parasites,” “Heavy Metals,” and so much more! Yes, it’s a content-rich conversation that I know you’ll appreciate.

If you are, or have been in the get-healthy game for some time, but feel on an intuitive level that you’re not yet seeing the results you feel you should by now, listen in on this conversation. JoAnne asks important questions, that helps me get to many important topics and responses.

Questions?

As always, feel free to post your questions below, or email me here. 

Do you know that there are 168 hours in one week?

So if you sleep 8 hours every night, you get 112 waking hours every week to do what is most important to you — 16 hours every day to prioritize what you most value. 

Perspective

I met with someone recently, and asked him, “What was missing early on in life, that could have made a difference for you?

He didn’t hesitate. It’s like he knew I would ask him this question, but he didn’t, which is why his response still rings in me.

“Perspective. That I get to be 65, I’ve learned something that other 65 year olds told me early on in life. If I listened back then, it would have made all the difference. And that is, the only accomplishment that matters in life is love and health. But 20 years ago, work was what mattered most. IF I listened back then, everything would be different today.” 

He shared his wisdom on the heals of burying his wife of 38 years, who died in her early 60s from cancer. 

Two guiding questions

We get 16 hours every day to prioritize what we most value, what’s most important to us. 

There’s two questions that guide me back to what I most value, what’s most important to me about anything at all, and they never fail to set me straight.

“Will this help me be my Highest expression of Self?”

“Is this Life-generating, for me, and for others?” 

What’s most important to you?

What do you most value?

What guides you?

What sets you straight? 

Have you noticed that everyone’s an “expert” these days? With the explosion of social media and it’s free platform to spotlight individual opinion, and the gorilla marketing strategies that even your 12-year old neighbor can study on YouTube, many insist they know exactly what you need to do to be your best self. But to my point, there are many health “experts” who claim they know exactly what you should eat to look and feel healthy and vibrant.

In response, you may feel completely confused and have no idea what to do, or what is best for you and your body. I can’t blame you. I didn’t know what to do either, when I first set out to find answers on how to reclaim my health and vitality.

The Impact of the Modern Lifestyle

But with the impact of the modern lifestyle, Fast-food Nation, the immediate gratification fishbowl we’ve all been raised within, with it’s endless ripple effect on the state of our health and quality of life, especially with the growing statistics of chronic disease… Which is all now further complicated by technology and social media, I recommend you consider what you think is best. I recommend you spend some time questioning the insanity of the escalating statistics of chronic disease today, on you, or someone you love dearly, and even drill deeper to find answers to sub-questions beyond, “what diet is best?”

But to ask different questions, you’ve got to step back from all the external noise of social media, technology, TV and opinions of others, so you’re not simply responding to what they think is best for you. By shutting down all the external noise and turning inward, you’ll  better hear your own wisdom, your own inner knowing and… your own basic commonsense. This is why meditation and mindfulness have grown by leaps and bounds. These teachers and practitioners know that by turning inward, you can gain access to your most primal, innate personal wisdom and power. 

Many years back, long before social media took over my life (It’s addictive and destructive in nature, it’s been designed to be addictive, so consequently can be destructive), I identified three questions before the flood of “experts” could cloud my reasoning — Three questions I call lowest-common-denominator, and generative questions that helped me reclaim my health. I continue to use these questions, as I navigate the red waters of “expertise.” I share these three questions with you, to inspire you to step back and go within, to see if they resonate as smart, as basic commonsense, as useful.

My Three Guiding Questions:

1. What does the human body most need to thrive? Hint: Energy I know, you’re goal is to simply look and feel your best — You might not give a flying hoot about things like quantum physics. BUT… If you dial back to elementary level science, you’ll remember learning that solid matter does not exist in the universe. That at our most basic structural level, at an atomic and subatomic level, you and I are a whirling buzz of protons, neutrons, and electrons. Protons and neutrons are packed together in the center of the atom, the nucleus, and the electrons buzz around them at crazy high speed! So… if we’re more energy than matter, doesn’t it make sense to stalk that which gives us more? (Hence, why I talk about eating more raw foods with electricity = Life Force Energy!)
2. What foods will give maximum energy and (MOST important) leave the body efficiently? Though there’s an endless stream of dietary theories and recommendations today, it’s smart to consider what each actually propose — If the recommendation includes processed, denatured, devitalized, dead and/or heavy, dense foods that are hard for the body to breakdown, eliminate or cause excess inflammation and mucous production, you want to ask a few sub-questions, like,
   1. Does the food you’re eating give the body energy, or does it take more energy than it gives (To break down, digest and eliminate)?
   2. Does it give energy, and leave efficiently, so not to add to, and/or promote the growth of yeast, mold, fungus, rogue bacteria and pathogen in the body? (Alas, the preponderance of digestive and autoimmune problems today — Stagnancy is the root of illness.)
   3. Does the diet include foods that feed the overgrowth of yeast, mold, fungus, rogue bacteria and pathogen?
3. WHAT foods help the body release the backlog and accumulation of toxic waste matter? Some foods energize, leave efficiently, and magnetize toxic waste out of the body. These are the foods Mother Nature provides in abundance, and are best in their live, raw, alkaline state, especially leafy greens. Think of these foods like magnetic “Scrubbing Bubbles” that, with their Life Force Energy, literally pull accumulated toxic waste matter out of the cells and tissues in your body. That most of us have lived on the Standard American Diet most of our lives, if not all of us, this question is worth putting under your careful, probing lens. You don’t want to choose a diet that cause stagnancy. A stagnant colon is like a backed up septic system — What good can possibly come from a backed up septic system… in the middle of your bod, which is a critical backlash from living on processed foods for generations now.

From this context, choosing paleo, keto, vegan, vegetarian, raw, WFPB or any of the many other new and fan-dangled diets that have spawned in response to the myriad of chronic symptoms we’re experiencing today, is not the quintessential question. 

You must first ask different questions, so that you can get the answers you need as to why you’re still experiencing chronic or acute symptoms, though you eat healthy. This effort alone can yield enormous benefit.

If you step back, commonsense will tell you that many of these diets, on second take, make no sense scientifically. You’ll begin to understand how, though you’ll initially feel better from most any diet, if you stopped eating processed Franken-Foods, over the long haul, they’re simply not sustainable.  You’ll begin to realize that, as with everything, like Tony Robbins said, “The quality of your life is a direct reflection of the quality of the questions you are asking yourself.”

Your Turn

Do you struggle with what diet makes best sense?

Do you still experience acute or chronic symptoms, though you eat healthy?

Has the fast pace of life caused you to feel disconnected from your deeper inner-knowing, your basic commonsense?

Perhaps you’ve got questions. Please post them, or your thoughts, ideas or comments below. I’d love to help. Or email me here.

Do you struggle with one step forward, two steps back in your get-healthy efforts? Do you hate to say no, when you want to say yes, even though saying no will help you get what you most want?

Do you more often than not choose anything and everything that will make “it” easier, rather than deal with the confrontation change requires?

I remember a few years back when reading Sharon Salzberg’s highly acclaimed book, “Real Happiness: The Power of Meditation.” I paused when she guided me and her other readers to take “mental note” of the emotions that show up when we set out to meditate. She said,

“You may notice yourself resisting these difficult emotions and the bodily sensations that accompany them—pushing them away and feeling ashamed of them. Or perhaps you find yourself getting pulled into them—replaying an argument, or reliving feelings of rage, helplessness, or humiliation.”

Salzberg, with my Dad and others, taught me about the “fleetingness” of emotions — That they come, and they go, like clouds floating by in the sky… But it’s how we respond that’s meaningful, for our health and wellbeing, and for every other goal we hope to achieve in life.

I spoke to a former client recently, a client that totally dominated his 6-month coaching program with me. He scheduled a call to “reboot” his commitment to the many results he gained. Because, though he achieved every health and life goal he wanted in our work together, he said, “Carol, no one I know eats healthy; This makes it really hard for me to stick with all that I learned!”

Three Questions and One Quote:

I asked my former client to consider three questions,

1. Did you stick with taking consistent action every day, after your program ended?
2. Did you stick with your morning ritual, to help you stay focused on what you most want?
3. What did falling off the plan teach you? Help you see?

And I reminded him of a favorite quote,

“Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but we rather have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.” —Aristotle

Beyond Struggle, Beyond Fleeting Emotions

Did you see the 1996 Olympics, or ever hear of Olympic gold-winner Kerri Strug and how she unwittingly became a national hero at that event?

Kerri Strug was a member of “The Magnificent Seven,” the victorious all-around women’s gymnastics team that represented the United States at the Atlanta Olympics in 1996. When performing her first Vault, Strug under-rotated her landing and badly damaged her ankle. But despite her injury, Strug completed her final Vault, landed on both feet, if even for just a moment, to help the USA Women’s gymnastic team win all-round gold!

It was a breathtaking site to behold, to watch 19-year young Strug run down the mat for her second Vault, in spite of her injury. It was an emotional site to behold, to watch her lift her arms in victory, while she raised her injured foot in pain. It was a fierceness of mental mastery and conviction to witness, because of the struggle of the moments.

Trust Your Struggle

When my former client paused to consider my questions, my heart reached out to assure him that I SO understood, and… That “one step forward and two steps back” is the way. That “inch by inch, results are a cinch.” That, I too remember the many times I felt like “odd girl out,” and ended up caving to the spoken, and often unspoken pressure to “stick with the tribe,” and “just shut up and eat the pizza already!” Those times that were equally mixed with relief to just “go with the flow” and the freedom to just let go of my own struggle with, “Why does healthy have to be so hard?”

But when we pause, for even just a few minutes, on the mental mastery 19-year young Kerri Strug beamed for all the world to see at the 1996 Olympics, every opportunity that comes to us, including the times that feel challenging and utterly impossible, becomes an opportunity to choose what we most want again.

And when we pause, for even just a few more minutes, on the wise insight Sharon Salzberg offers in her book, “Real Happiness,” that thoughts are just thoughts, and emotions are just emotions, that they both come, and they both go, and both are only laden with the meaning we give them, we learn how every moment becomes our teacher. We can choose struggle as a lesson on “it’s hard,” and we can choose struggle as a lesson on, ‘we know what we want, by what we know we don’t want.’

Every so-called struggle, becomes our best teacher. Every so-called adversity, becomes our best friend. Every so-called struggle becomes an opportunity to open to the lessons of the experience and choose again.

From this perspective, struggle doesn’t feel like struggle. Rather, it feels like a learning opportunity to stalk.

Trust your struggle. Be thankful for your struggle. Without it, I’ve learned, we would would never discover our strengths.

What Could Be Possible?

What could be possible if you could let go of “it’s hard?’ What would would be different for you, if you trusted your struggle? More results? More fun? More ease, more joy, more energy?

Learn how to “Eliminate Excuses: Prioritize Your Health Now,” in 7 short days HERE? It’s FREE

Do you have beliefs and thoughts that seem to stop you in one area of life, though you’re successful in other areas? Beliefs and thoughts that limit you from looking and feeling as amazing as you deserve, for example? Beliefs and thoughts that hold you back and leave you feeling like a victim of circumstance, rather than empowered and fired-up about all that you’re capable of achieving?  

Do these beliefs and thoughts leave you overweight, over-tired, prematurely aging or with chronic symptoms that leave you feeling heartbroken, or worse, angry? 

And like the proverbial gerbil wheel, because you’re so tired, so heartbroken or so flat-out disenchanted, do you feel caught in the never-ending cycle of wanting, but never getting, because stories like “being healthy is too hard” holds you back? 

Trust this, there are millions from all walks of life, if not you, and from all socio-economic brackets, cultures and ages, who suffer from poor health and dashed dreams because they can’t get off the gerbil-wheel of disappointment. And because they don’t know what to do, in spite of the success they’ve made in other areas of life, they acquiesce to unhealthy lifestyle habits, and turn to quick fixes that don’t work. 

You’re Not Done Wanting

But… though you’re upset, you’re not done wanting to figure it out… to look and feel your best. Though you feel trapped by the perpetual gerbil wheel, inside the limiting stories that have held you back from losing the excess weight, feeling vibrant and energized and looking radiant and healthy, you’ve NOT thrown in the towel yet. You still want to look, feel and BE your very BEST Self!   

What could be possible for you, if I told you I had a little secret that could help you drop the limiting stories that “healthy lifestyle habits are too hard, too time-consuming and no fun,” so you could create the results you most want, and most deserve?

The Pre-Secret: The Pre-Cursor to my Little Secret

Eleven years back I trained extensively with a training and development group in personal development, leadership and coaching. One of my favorite things about this training was something called “clearing calls.” We were required to schedule a clearing call with a coach trained in generating the space of possibility, before we went to a coaching session. But the best part was, before we went to this call, we were required to clean up any messes we made with people, or ourselves, so those messes couldn’t get in our way of creating results, for our clients and ourselves.

Clearing calls were required to happen before we met with clients, to make sure we were clear of anything that could get in our way of generating real results.

The coolest thing I LOVED about these calls was how I got to see how beliefs and thoughts operate in the background, and could get in my way of achieving results, if I didn’t clear them. 

Clearing calls offered me a powerful window into the ways our very own thoughts can thwart the results we achieve.

The Secret: Emotional Freedom Technique

Fast-forward 7 years, I met (through his work) world-renowned Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) expert, Brad Yates. 

EFT, also known as Tapping, is an alternative approach to healing that draws from Chinese acupuncture, neurolinguistic programming and energy medicine, and is known to clear thought patterns that can limit us from achieving the results we most want to achieve.

Before I proceed, bear in mind I am a hard-core pragmatist. Even though I am Spiritually driven and get high on the avant garde, I am way more practical than “woo woo.” I get high on smart and scientifically proven solutions in my work, so EFT only initially felt a little “out there” for me.

But because EFT felt so reminiscent to the clearing calls I was trained earlier on, it quickly gained the stature of a very smart, practical tool to integrate into my life and my work.

Brad Yates unknowingly pulled me to EFT. He first captivated me with the level of heart he brings to his work — He’s made and offers for FREE over 800 EFT videos on every thought pattern and emotional block you can imagine on his highly tracked YouTube Channel… So I started to play with EFT, and even began introducing it to my clients. 

An Overview of the Endless Possibilities of Emotional Freedom Technique and Brad’s You Tube Channel and Coaching 

Tapping:

1. Begin by picking a specific block, or limiting story that seems to get in your way of achieving the results you most want. For example, do thoughts like, “I can’t lose weight,” “Healthy is too hard,” “I can’t stop procrastinating,” “I don’t have enough time,” “It’s all his/her fault,” seem to hold you back?
2. Type your thought or block into the search tool on the far right of Brad’s YouTube Channel. or you could simply peruse his playlists or video offerings. To begin with, find one video that resonates with you and your individual experiences for the best results.
3. In the video, Brad will guide you through “a tapping session,” with his classic light-hearted, but very generous and genuine way. But make no mistake, you’ll feel his heart, and his commitment to helping you move beyond the thoughts that seem to get in your way.

Tapping is cool. Brad will show you how to tap on specific meridian points, while saying specific phrases designed to presence you to your best Self and clear the roots of your limiting thought patterns. 

But the coolest things about tapping is, you’ll be able to clear limiting thoughts for yourself, and by yourself with the endless tapping sessions Brad Yates guides you through on YouTube. 

BUT… with that said, I’d be sorely remiss if I didn’t share about the power of Brad’s 1:1 coaching work — I scheduled private 1:1 time with him, to address a specific matter. And like the master practitioner that he is, he excavated exactly what I needed to ‘get to,” though I thought we’d address it very differently, to clear my limiting thoughts. It was an extraordinary experience. Second to none. Like Jack Canfield says best, “Brad Yates is a master teacher. He is a warm, loving, powerful, effective, transformative force for good. I totally endorse his work.”

AND… he’s got the most amazing mini-programs that I personally LOVE too! I can’t say enough about the enormous value these programs offer, and the price point can’t be matched! You can check them all out here, but please put special attention on his upcoming program, Tap Into Your Unstoppable Self! This is a donation-based program, with 100% of the proceeds going to directly to the Unstoppable Foundation, an organization that seeks to end poverty through education (Brad is the BEST!). But rather than simply building schools, it also creates the infrastructure to help communities thrive, so the children can actually attend school. With access to education, they have the ability to overcome so many obstacles… and to become Unstoppable too!

Join Brad… and me, and the Unstoppable Foundation for perhaps the most amazing tapping program yet… because it’s such a win-win! But listen in to Brad here. He says it best:

Get Off the Gerbil Wheel 

Everything I share with you is yet another cut at creating freedom physically, mentally, emotionally, Spiritually and energetically. Everything I research, study, experiment with and personally practice emanate from my goal of me being my BEST Self, and you being your BEST Self. Everything I recommend is a tool, of sorts, to help you get off the gerbil wheel that leaves you wanting, rather than getting… what you most want!

As Brad recently said to me, “I’m not woo-woo at all. Tapping is a very practical tool that offers very tangible results.” So though you may have never tapped before, the world is taking this practice on by storm. With me, author and success coach, Jack Canfield, endorses Tapping and Brad Yates. Olympic athletes Bralon Taplin and Devon Allen tap before their events. Celebrities Lily Allen and Madonna, with author and alternative health teacher Deepak Chopra all practice and endorse tapping. 

In the Spirit of you achieving every goal you want to achieve. In the Spirit of breaking through old-patterned ways of thinking that hold you back. In the Spirit of “nothing ventured, nothing gained,” try tapping, though you may have never tried it before. Experiment with it, as millions of others are today. IF it can help you get off the gerbil-wheel of no results and clear all that holds you back, why the heck not, right?

Questions?

If you’ve got any questions, any previous experiences you want to share, any personal insights that you know could be helpful, please post them below. I’d love to help in any way. I’d love to hear what you’ve learned, or would like to learn from EFT…

You lost weight. You mastered the diet. You resumed a fitness routine. You reduced chronic symptoms. You even developed a greater understanding of the ways your thoughts predicate what you eat, what you believe about healthy versus unhealthy, and even what you need to do to create consistent and healthy results.

You were in the flow and feeling solid in your get-healthy game and the results you were achieving.

And then something happened that sent you reeling. Your significant other deeply upset you. Your co-worker wrongly snapped at you. The company you were working with on a deal-of-a-lifetime offered it to someone else.

And you found yourself feeling defeated, angry and hurt… while sitting in front of an empty bottle of wine and extra-large-sized box of pizza.

And you couldn’t understand what happened.

Rather, intellectually you understood that you were just flat-out upset and reacting. But you also knew, because you felt it, that your unhealthy reactions not only left you feeling physically awful and mentally unfocused, you felt a sense of guilt. Guilt not because you were eating and drinking foods you swore off, but because you KNEW with every glass of wine you drank and every bite of pizza you ate, you were sabotaging your goal to reclaim your health and put your diagnosis in remission.

Breakdowns for Breakthroughs

My client announced his falling off “the program,” as soon as he got to our call.

This client is a player, in the highest sense of the definition. He gets that his success happens with every effort he extends, even if he falters. And he’s human too, in vulnerable and straight-shooting kinds of ways. He gets that his success happens, especially when he falters, because he knows a breakdown offers him the opportunity to poke at why it happened, which often gives way to a whole new understanding of what happened.

In my coaching practice, I work out of three “buckets.” The first bucket is a bucket loaded with nutrition and fitness strategies, tools and actions to use to help the body rebalance and heal on a physical level. The second bucket is the same; strategies, tools and actions to use, to help train and condition they mind to support winning, just like building muscles! The third bucket is the same, but with these strategies, tools and actions, we set to build connection to Self. No bucket is more important than the other. Each bucket is equally important, but in different ways for different clients. Each bucket, and the unique tools and strategies it provides, serves every client in a different way, because every client arrives with their own unique and distinctive needs.

This client dominates the nutrition game. This client dominates the mindset game. But something’s been missing. 

Beyond Why

Many talk about the power of why these days: your why is your purpose, the cause or belief that drives you. For example, why do you go to the gym? Why do you want to eat healthy? Why do you get out of bed every morning? Why do you want to lose weight? What is your why and why does it matter?

But the thing is, this client is crystal clear on WHY he hired me: He wants to defy a serious diagnosis, for himself, for his family, and for every moment of laughter, love and joy a healthy future promises him with his young daughter. This why, this compelling reason IS what’s helped him create such great success in his program thus far.

The Most Missing Thing in the Be-Healthy Game

As my client and I poked around his breakdown to see if we could find “what’s missing that could make a difference,” he said, “Just yesterday I was feeling like something’s missing.”

I’ve discovered in my work that there’s something most often missing in the be-healthy game, something deeper to tap into beyond the obvious actions of eating clean, working out, rebalancing gut health, shifting our mindset, and even our very compelling reason why we want what we want. This thing is a deeper and more meaningful connection to our BEST and Highest Selves; the person we KNOW ourselves to be, beyond the self-sabotage. It’s like we find ourselves doing things that don’t match who we know ourselves to be, and what we most want in life.

This client’s mastered the healing diet. He’s upleveled his fitness game. His mindset is clear and strong. He’s shifting his white blood cell count, which IS the big goal we’re after! But something’s been missing on a heart-level, and it’s sabotaging his crystal clear and very compelling why he wants to defy the health problem his doctors diagnosed.

I asked him, “What could be possible, if every thing you did, if every choice you made, emanated from your BEST Self, from your desire to BE an expression of your Highest Self? Rather than simply adding another check to the list of actions I recommend you take, that give you the feeling of success, but still leave you disempowered in front of an empty pizza box. What could be different, if the actions you took solely emanated from your desire to be your BEST and Highest Self for no reason other than that? 

My questions landed. The landing was palpable, so I recommended he now take time everyday to connect to his BEST, and Highest sense of Self. This IS the single missing thing that most often shows up in the be-healthy game! And of course it would, right, since life asks so much of us every day?

To help him connect to his Highest sense of Self, beyond all the impressive get-healthy success he’s created thus far, I recommended he get outside and reconnect with Nature, that he meditate and slow down, to reconnect with breath, his heart, and what really matters most to him, and that he enjoy the silence of the morning with prayerful verses, quiet time and grounding exercises.

The End-Game Requirement

As Werner Erhard said,

“Life is a game. In order to have a game, something has to be more important than something else. If what already is, is more important than what isn’t, the game is over. So, life is a game in which what isn’t, is more important than what is.”

When we face a serious medical diagnosis, or a lifetime of failed efforts in creating vibrant health in spite of the many efforts we’ve extended, “what isn’t,” vibrant health, grows in importance, and even urgency, depending on the state of your health and the end-game you most want to, and even need to achieve. I help my clients discover within themselves the almighty missing link, the most missing thing in their be-healthy game, so that they win their end-goal.

How could making every choice you make from the center of your BEST and Highest Self impact you, your life and your Be-healthy game? Excuses would give way. Reasons would disappear. Other’s opinions would no longer matter. Healthy habits and high-performing actions would be the only options that would rise up on your radar!

My client wants to enjoy every year he can with his daughter. That very much matters, to him, and to me… and he needs to reverse an acute diagnosis to realize this goal. And so he plays like a player. Every action he takes bespeaks that of high performer committed to winning, even when he experiences a breakdown! He blows me away.

What do you have at stake, for you, your life and your health? Do you know what is most missing in your be-healthy game? Tell me in the comments below. I’d love to help!

Last night someone said to me, “You haven’t aged one year, Carol (though I haven’t seen this person in 30+ years). Can you help me stop eating so much? Tell me what’s your top secret to looking so young?” …As they whispered in my ear, “What’s your favorite treatment?”

I laughed, and didn’t attempt to defend my 30-years of get-healthy effort, or express my objections for “treatments,” but the answer is salient, and perhaps unexpected…

The Irony

Someone recently contacted me. Before our call, they said via email that they wanted to discuss the chronic digestive problems that “have plagued them all their life.” They said that they wanted to “discuss new ways of dealing with the chronic symptoms they experience.”

I went to the call with the same Spirit of generosity I go to every call — I wanted to be of contribution. I wanted to make sure this person left our call with at least one new insight to weigh in on, one new action to take, some bit of knowledge that could make a difference for them. 

But ironically, from hello, this person held center stage on all that they know about poor digestion, so I couldn’t get a word in edgewise. I didn’t get to share anything. Nothing.  

I didn’t get to weigh in on one new action they could take. 

And though I tried, I didn’t get to share not even one bit of knowledge that I know could help. 

I felt dumfounded, and still find myself shaking my head wondering, “why did this person want to talk to me?” 

The experience left me thinking of something George Bernard Shaw said, “Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” 

The Juxtaposition

I’ve got this AWESOME client. He’s both a highly trained  leader and a Harley guy.

He hired me to help him with a serious diagnosis.

And though he put some ‘serious skin in the game to work with me‘ (financial investment), and though he’s got a very compelling reason why he wants to beat his diagnosis, once, when we first started working together, skepticism about rose up when I explained to him our next and necessary steps.

But I heard his skepticism, so encouraged him to take some time to process my recommendations.

He came to our next call and said, “Let’s go.”

And though the reflective time proved advantageous to our work together, I I know he rightly examined his skepticism. I know he smartly researched my recommendations, and I trust he thoughtfully weighed in on his faith in me.

But I also know that though he’s a highly trained leader, and though I know he loves burning the reasons that try to stop him from playing full out, he’s a Harley guy that I’ve asked to invest into his healing in ways others invest into a Mercedes Benz or a tropical vacation.

But he came back to our call ready and open.

The Path to Looking and Feeling my Best

I said to the pharmacist at the CVS drugstore, “Can you lower the dosage of this medication? It’s too strong for me. I can’t get out of bed.” She agreed, but said she’d have to call my doctor.

With chronic digestive issues and a multitude of other problematic symptoms, I experienced acute anxiety years back, so my doctor recommended I take Xanax.

As I waited for the pharmacist’s response, I could tell she was first talking to the receptionist, then the nurse, then the doctor.

When the doctor asked to speak to me, I thought “Oh good. He’ll understand.”

My doctor said, “I thought you said you trusted me? If you don’t take the medication the way I prescribed, the anxiety will lead to panic attacks, and you know what happens after that, right?”

I stood there confused and full of fear, “No doctor, I have no idea.”

“Suicide.”

“If you do not take the medication the way I prescribe, panic attacks will lead to suicide.”

I stood there speechless, as tears welled up in my eyes… but, like a small, barely visible light in a thick and heavy fog, amidst the real fear I was feeling, the thought “I need to find someone who can help me understand why my body is breaking down,” rose up like a fierce and mighty warrior within me.

The Answer: The Insider Advice You Need to Look and Feel Your Best

Thirty years later, I offer you the answer to my friends’ question, “What is your top secret to looking so young? with 100% certainty.  My answer would be the same answer for the person who reached out to me earlier this week with the hopes of learning a new way of dealing with the lifelong, chronic symptoms they experience. It would be the same answer for you, and whatever the health problem that challenges you. It’s the same answer that differentiates the client who puts autoimmune disease in remission, goes off anti-depression medication and skyrockets their energy. It’s the same answer my Harley guy embodies.

You must develop a curiosity for new ideas, new ways of doing things. You must be willing to let go of what you believe to be true. You must challenge what everyone around you says is “right.” You must develop and openness to the thoughts and ideas of others, without fear of losing yourself.

In a nutshell, to look and feel your best, you MUST open to the unfamiliar, the out of the ordinary, the new, the fresh, the unconventional, even the exotic. 

When I look back over my life, it was my ability to create and expand an open-way of being and thinking that was the most powerful driver for literally changing the whole course of my health and my life… And is perhaps the single most important piece of advice I may likely ever offer you, to look and feel your best.

For me to reclaim my health, heal my digestive system and every other symptom I ever experienced, including anxiety, I had to challenge every mainstream idea I had been taught about a typical “normal” diet, food choices and even ideas of fun. I had to look more deeply into what caused illness and how I was taught to think about healthcare. I even had to challenge who I thought I was, without other’s definitions of “what’s good and acceptable and what’s not,” constraining the choices I wanted to make for me, my health and my life. And more, I had to challenge what I had been taught about my Faith, and what it meant to me and the choices I needed to make to be my Highest Self. I literally had to open to new ways of being, perceiving, understanding and doing, to get to all that I’ve learned about living inside a vibrant and healthy body.

But like Robert Frost said… “Two roads diverged in a wood and I – I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.”

The Possibilities for You

But, I did NOT eat this elephant of looking and feeling my best in one bite. My goodness it took me 30 years to get to where I’m at now… So it would be unrealistic for you to think you can eat this elephant all at once. Unless of course you want to expedite your results by working with me. If yes, you can learn more here. If no, or just not yet, your next step to healthy begins here. I’ve organized my top 5 best steps to help you increase your energy and build a very solid foundation to your get-healthy game!

Any questions? Feel free to post your questions below, or email me here. I’d love to help… If you’re open!

My plan for one of my client calls this week was to highlight what I thought would be smart for her to consider, as she moves forward from all that she’s accomplished in her 6-month coaching program, “Your Best Health Project.” 

But I began our call with a review. It’s makes good sense in general, to contextualize where we’re going, with where we began, and why we made the choices we made in our work together.

I wanted to remind her of three perspectives that shaped our work together — That we learn in two ways, with one important caveat. We learn 1) from the socialization processes that shape who we become in life, from birth through roughly age seven, and 2) through the repetition of these lessons, and 3) through the equally important caveat, that we were in a state akin to hypnosis through most of this learning because we were so young.

I wanted to remind her of these points because the vortex of the modern lifestyle, immediate gratification and fast-food nation are so strong, that if we’re not mindful, we can all easily get pulled away from what we know makes us feel better.

Socialization and Repetition 

The lessons of socialization from my days as a newbie high school teacher made a lasting impression on me, when I was offered the opportunity to launch the Sociology program for one of Boston’s esteemed exam schools. This is when I learned more indepthly, and simultaneously taught my students, that up until the age seven, we learn “what is right, and what is wrong,” by our families first, and then our peer groups, then our social institutions, like our schools and churches, and then the world at large, like our workplaces, government and even mass media. 

While many revere childhood traditions and mainstream ways of doing things, my clients and I, however, intentionally set out to “scratch the CD” of what they learned early in life, by creating healthy habits to counter what’s caused them to suffer from chronic and acute health problems.

Think about it, how could I ever hope to help my clients create healthy lifestyle patterns if “This is the way our family has eaten for generations,” or “Everything in moderation,” or “Lighten up, go with the flow,” is on perpetual autoplay in the background of their lives uninterrupted… while plagued with chronic symptoms? 

Healthy Habits and Routine

Herein lies my whole reasoning for pressing my clients to create ONE healthy habit at a time (depending on where the client is at when we begin). IF we can effectively replace one unhealthy habit with one healthy habit, and consistently, we not only build a new habit, establish a new routine and develop a stronger mindset, we build the muscle of change, as we scratch the CD that’s autoplaying “You should do it this way, NOT that way.” This is not necessarily easy for some, especially after a lifetime of cultural conditioning and social expectation to conform. But that I attract some of the most badass clients ever, we achieve some pretty astounding results together — results that even astound me! 

Hypnosis 

The thing that’s super important to note about the socialization process we all go through is, we learned everything we think to be true as adults, while in a state similar to hypnosis, when we were children. Think about it, when you were 3-years old, did you voluntarily agree that ravioli tasted better for you than apples? Or when you were 6-years old, did you have the wherewithal to say, I prefer salad instead of fast-food? Of course not. You and I were both taught from infancy through age seven and onward, by our families, friends and the world around us what was best for us to eat, drink, think and do. We developed “our preferences” according to their ideas of what is best.  

Sociologists call it socialization, but the formal definition of hypnosis says we learn in a state in which a person loses the power to voluntarily choose, and is highly responsive to the suggestions or directions of another. There’s no splitting hairs on this one, we didn’t voluntarily choose our preferences as 3-year olds.

And with the epidemic rates of chronic disease we’re facing today, and with the ginormous benefits my clients gain from the efforts they extend to put autoimmune disease in remission, reduce insulin, go off anti-depression medication, lose 40 pounds, and so much more, this conversation of “who really chooses what’s best for us” bears repeating over and over, to safeguard the goals my client’s have achieved.

As my client and I pressed on about what she most wants now, I also reminded her that we can often feel penalized and/or ostracized, or at the very least, misunderstood, when others don’t realize why we choose to do things differently. THIS point, from my vantage of professional objectivity, IS her work, is actually every client’s work, as it is your’s too, to remain vigilant in WHY you choose healthy for yourself. That first, above and beyond everything else, is to remember WHAT matters most to YOU and why, and to cultivate THAT — Connecting to our WHY in everything is our great stabilizer. 

You and I were socialized to believe many things we might not agree with at all; attitudes, ideas, behaviors, traditions, and/or practices that don’t reflect who we know ourselves to be, which is why so many of us struggle with creating consistent healthy habits — Through repetition, the ideas of others were ingrained. These ideas that are not of our choosing become our default-mode. And because of this hypnosis-like-state we all learned within, as innocent, young children,

1. Many will likely not understand why you choose to do things differently as an adult. They’ll want you to do things “the way they’ve always been done.” As an analogy, the fisherman knows to never puts just one crab in the bucket. It will climb out. He knows if he puts two crabs in one bucket, one crab will always pull the other down. — The one crab wants the other to stay in the bucket.
2. Why you too may find it very difficult to break unhealthy habits, habits that you want to break more than anything, and why you find it very difficult to build healthy habits.

But fortunately, socialization and repetition work both ways. You can scratch the autoplay CD of messaging that holds you back, by developing and building one healthy habit at a time, to establish a healthy routine and even develop mastery over time, even if you slip and slide along the way. I’ve established a whole new quality of life based on this model of building one healthy habit, building a healthy lifestyle routine, and scratching the CD of messages that no longer work for me.  I’ve watched client after client achieve what they really wanted, beyond healing of chronic symptoms, like dating again, like flying across country to attend events they would have never attended, if not for feeling so good, like waking up every day free of the panic that once plagued them. 

On our near last call, my client and I accomplished what I most wanted her to gain — A review of an important perspective of our work together, to hold her steady as she plans her next steps in life.

What autoplay messaging do you need to scratch up, to get to what matters most to you? Consider these three perspectives. They’re potent.

Want to get your health game started? Your first steps to healthy begin here. 

You hear me talk about my love and reverence for the healing powers of drinking green juice and eating a green centric diet likely more than anything else. 

You also hear me repeatedly sing the praises of creating ONE healthy habit at a time, that it’s the best way to help you build a healthy lifestyle for results that last. 

I also talk a lot about the invaluable benefits of meditation, journaling and a building a strong mindset. 

And though you may have experimented with some or all of them, to see if they could help you achieve your health goals, you may have never consistently stuck with any one of them. 

What’s The Use

Which leaves you feeling like, “What’s the use?” Right?

So let’s step back and think about the context of my suggestions. 

If you’re super busy like my clients and me, they’re all just suggestions that could land as more to do, within the context of your already very full schedule. And though you may have tried some of these ideas, and maybe even liked them, you didn’t create any consistency in doing them… so you end up feeling defeated and still struggling with excess weight, debilitating exhaustion, obsessive cravings, and chronic symptoms. 

As my 6-month superstar client Teri said, “Before I began working with Carol, I struggled with following through on my commitments so often, that I was worried about investing in yet another program that I might not follow through on anyway.”

A Little Secret

So let me share with you a little secret that I shared with Teri, that I share with all my clients:

Drinking green juice, building healthy habits, establishing a meditation practice and creating a journaling routine are NOT the end game we’re after. Good grief. Alone, that would simply be hitting a checklist and leave you feeling busier, and likely very defeated = Superficial = With no deeper relationship to the power of WHY you’d want to get up early to meditate when you’re used to sleeping in, or WHY you’d want to say no to eating pizza, when you’re used to eating whatever you want, whenever you want it, OR WHY you’d want to set time aside to make fresh juices and prep healthy foods, though it would be so much easier to pick up any fast food option. 

So here’s the secret:

WHEN we’re committed to BEING our BEST selves, we consistently use our ability to CHOOSE what we know upgrades our life like a power-tool, to transcend everything and anything that could keep us from being our BEST and Highest Selves. 

That’s it.

Yes, green juice helps deeply nourish the body and magnetizes toxicity out of our cells. Yes, building one healthy habit at a time sets the stage for creating a healthier lifestyle in all ways. Yes, meditation helps us transcend daily distractions.  And yes, oh yes, journaling can help download all sorts of gunk from the psyche. 

But if used with no intentionality for WHY you want to do each of these practices, they’re simply just busy work and they end up feeling like just one more thing to do…

Ultimately, we who are committed to being our best and Highest Selves, we consciously and very deliberately use the power of choice as a power-tool for removing everything and anything that could get in our way of achieving all that we know we are capable of achieving. 

When you get clear on this one thing, that you want to be your very best you, NO MATTER WHAT, and that you get to choose that with every choice you make, you’ll discover that there is NO hoop, NOT one, that you won’t jump through for every health goal you want to achieve… BECAUSE of ALL that BEING your BEST and FEELING your BEST makes possible in every area of your life!

And I promise you this, you too can achieve all that you are capable of! I watch clients like Teri, a high school teacher from a small suburban town in Connecticut blow the very definition of “a player” out of the water in jaw-dropping ways, and defy odds and achieve results that initially seemed improbable over and over again!

That’s the secret. You just need to want to be your best you. 

Teri does. Joel does. Juliette does. I do.

Do you?

Where to Begin

IF you know you’re ready to commit to you, to you being your best and Highest Self, but don’t know where to begin, download my guide, 5 to Thrive: 5 Habits to Increase Energy by 30% for Top-Achievers. It’s a great way to begin building 5 awesome foundational healthy habits that WILL help you increase your energy and create healthier balance in your life!